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Some of John Gottman’s principles on making marriage work are Create Shared Meaning, Solve Your Solvable Problems, Nurture Your Fondness & Admiration, and share love maps. Creating shared meaning can be the little things you do as a couple/family; your traditions and interests that you do together. Solving solvable problems means resolving issues that can be eliminated via compromise, influence, and repair. Additionally, nurturing the relationship is important. Continue to go on dates and tell each other what you like about one another etc. Sharing love maps is basically remembering someone’s likes and dislikes and acting on those memories. The principle that resonates with me is Turn towards each other Instead of Away. Instead of shutting down and pushing your significant other away, talk to them about what you are thinking and any problems you are experiencing. Turning away is damaging and could lead to the relationship ending.

Managing stress is difficult and takes commitment. Listening to music or drawing are two ways I manage minor stressors. Conversely, If I am experiencing extreme stress, I try to solve the problem. Instead of staying stuck in the situation I find a way out.

Reference

Santrock, J. W. (2018). Essential of Life-Span Development (5th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Education.


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